Lyn: Hi Paige.
Paige: What’s up?
L: And welcome back to you, our lovely Cosmere Chickens! We’ve got an emotional chapter this week, so get those hankies or boxes of tissues handy (or, for those of you who don’t much care for Veil, your cheerleading pom-poms).
Reminder: We’ll be discussing spoilers for the entirety of the series up until now. If you haven’t read ALL of the published entries of The Stormlight Archive (this includes Edgedancer and Dawnshard as well as the entirety of Rhythm of War), best to wait to join us until you’re done.
In this week’s discussion we also discuss some things from Mistborn in the Cosmere Connections section, so if you haven’t read it, best to give that section a pass.
Heralds: Nalan (Nale), Herald of Justice. Skybreakers (Gravitation, Division). Just/Confident. Role: Judge.
L: An interesting choice for Herald for this chapter. I would guess that he was chosen primarily because of the property of gravitation and division. This whole chapter is about the division within Shallan’s mind, and the gravitation between her disparate personalities. Another consideration could be the fact that she’s encountering a literal judge at the end, but my spheres would be on the former interpretation.
P: I would go with the latter option, myself. Shallan is intent on “killing” Adolin’s judge, Kelek. And then is interrupted by the spren who will play judge for the last day of the trial.
L: I was an English major; trained to look for the symbolism in everything. We’ll blame my interpretation on that…
Icon: Pattern
Epigraph:
I felt it happen to Jezrien. You think you captured him, but our god is Splintered, our Oathpact severed. He faded over the weeks, and is gone now. Beyond your touch at long last.
I should welcome the same. I do not. I fear you.
P: Allow me to reiterate how sad I am that Jezrien is truly gone.
Chapter Recap
WHO: Adolin, Shallan/Veil/Radiant/”Formless”
WHEN: 1175.4.19.4 – The day after Chapter 90.
WHERE: Lasting Integrity, Shadesmar
(Note: For the “when” notations, we are using this wonderful timeline provided by the folks at The 17th Shard.)
RECAP: Shallan comes to terms with her past and resolves one of the multiple aspects of her personality.
Chapter Chat — The Strongest of Mind
Formless awoke early on the day of Adolin’s final judgment.
P: Brandon starts this chapter off with a bang, doesn’t he? What we’ve seen of Formless so far is like quiet rumblings, not a full-blown takeover.
L: Gotta love a killer opening line. Get it?
“Thank you,” Adolin said, “for Shallan’s support last night. I needed her.”
“There are some things only she can do,” Formless said. Would that be a problem, now that Shallan no longer existed?
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Rhythm of War
P: Ope! Was there some Battle of the Personas that took place while Shallan slept? Because she had certainly existed the night before, and was strongly in control of herself. Or does this turn of events have to do with the dreaded task Shallan was sent to perform?
L: I think it might have been one of those “last dinner” types of things. She had already decided what she was going to do, and decided to give Adolin one final night with her.
“What’s wrong, Veil?” Adolin said, sitting up in bed. “You seem different.”
Formless pulled on her coat. “Nothing’s different. I’m the same old Veil.”
Don’t you use my name, Veil thought deep inside. Don’t you dare lie to him like that.
Formless stopped. She’d thought Veil locked away.
P: Well, Adolin certainly notices that something is off. If anyone would, it would be him, and/or Pattern. And interesting that Veil makes an appearance when Formless thought her locked away. The Battle of the Personas didn’t go quite as Formless had intended, it seems.
Also, go Veil! This Veil is so different than how I read the character (sub-character?) during the beta. That version had ill intensions, or so I thought. But I love Veil in this chapter!
L: Agreed. This is one of those little improvements that most readers will never realize happened, and it made such a huge impact.
“No,” Adolin said. “Something is different. Become Shallan for a moment. I could use her optimism today.”
“Shallan is too weak,” Formless said.
“Is she?”
“You know how troubled her emotions are. She suffers every day from a traitorous mind.”
P: As someone who also suffers every day from a traitorous mind, I can attest to how weak it makes me feel. Yet people are constantly telling me how strong I am. Do they see something I don’t? Adolin certainly sees more in Shallan. “Is she?” Adolin asks. He knows better than that. As he shows us in a moment.
L: Often time, others can see our strengths much better than we can ourselves. We are our own harshest critics, and this certainly is the case with Shallan!
“We don’t always see strength the right way,” Adolin said. “Like, who is the better swimmer? The sailor who drowns—giving in at long last to the current after hours of fighting—or the scribe who has never stepped into the water?”
…
“I’m not explaining it well. I just… I don’t think Shallan is as weak as you say. Weakness doesn’t make someone weak, you see. It’s the opposite.”
P: Adolin’s examples will come in handy for Veil later in the chapter. But for now, we’ll leave it here. Let me just say that it’s difficult for me personally to think that having experienced weakness makes someone strong.
L: Remember, in order to climb, you have to start in a low place.
“What’s happening?” he said. “Something is very wrong with you, Shallan. I have handled this so poorly. I talked to Wit yesterday, and he—”
“You’re still doing that?” Formless said. “You’re still disobeying me?”
Pattern pulled away further.
“I’ve had enough of you,” Formless hissed. “Stay here and cover for me with Adolin. We’ll talk about this at length after the trial.”
P: And just as Adolin had felt something was off, Pattern can also tell that Shallan isn’t acting right. Especially for her to snap at him this way. Poor Pattern. Despite being chastised so harshly, he continues trying to reach her as we’ll see below.
It was time to become the woman she’d been building toward ever since she left her home to steal from Jasnah. Formless could finally join the Ghostbloods. She didn’t care about Shallan’s past. Let it sleep. She could be like Veil, who didn’t have to worry about such things.
P: So would Shallan (because we know she’s still in there) allow “Formless” to abandon Adolin? Renounce her Oaths? Again? How exactly does she expect to pull off joining the Ghostbloods, I wonder?
“I thought it would be the man, your husband, who came for me. I wonder if he knows I’ve had trouble fighting these days. It’s so hard to decide. To do anything really…”
“Is that why you’ve been so hard on Adolin?” Shallan asked. “At the trial?”
Kelek shook his head. “You two stumbled into a little war of ideologies. The older honorspren—they’re so frightened of what happened to their predecessors. But the young ones want to go fight.”
P: And this is confirmation of what we’ve seen from the honorspren during the trial. Some who seem to support Adolin but others who condemn him outright.
“I have information that could help you,” Shallan said. “But I want to trade. There isn’t much time for us to—”
She was interrupted as the door slammed open, revealing several honorspren—including Lusintia, the one Shallan had impersonated. She gestured aggressively at Shallan…
P: Oops, it seems that Shallan’s disguise as Lusintia didn’t go unnoticed.
“Attempting to influence the course of the trial?” Lusintia demanded. “Colluding with the judge?”
“She was… doing nothing of the sort,” Kelek said, stepping up beside Shallan.
P: And here we go. In trying to run from her pain and become Formless, in trying to kill Kelek, she could very well have doomed Adolin.
Lusintia stopped, but then looked over her shoulder toward a bearded male honorspren. Shallan recognized him as Sekeir, the one who had acted as prosecutor against Adolin on the first day of the trial. An important spren, perhaps the most important in the fortress. And one of the oldest ones.
“I think, Honored One,” Sekeir said softly, “that you might be having another bout of your weakness. We shall have to sequester you, I’m afraid. For your own good…”
P: Oopsie.
Music, Mechanisms, and Manifestations of Light
She glanced at herself in the mirror, and found the Lightweaving to be perfect. She looked exactly like Lusintia, the honorspren woman. She even gave off the same faint glow. This was going to be so easy.
P: This plan comes back to bite her in the fanny (as we just saw above), though going as herself would have been no better.
Shallan turned, breathing out, and Stormlight exploded from her like her life’s own blood. It painted the room before her, coloring it, changing it to a lush garden. Covered in bright green vines and shalebark of pink and red.
Within it, a hidden place where a girl cried. The girl wept, then screamed, then said the terrible words.
“I don’t want you! I hate you! I’m done! You never existed. You are nothing. And I am finished!”
P: How very like Shallan, to use her Lightweaving talent to remember her past. And how heartbreaking for young Shallan to have gone through what she did and to have broken Oaths she didn’t know she had even made.
Spren and Shadesmar
Memories flooded her. Playing in the gardens as a child, meeting a Cryptic. A beautiful, spiraling spren that dimpled the stone. Wonderful times, spent hidden among the foliage in their special place. The Cryptic encouraged her to become strong enough to help her family, to stand against the terrible darkness spreading through it.
Such a blessed time, full of hope, and joy, and truths spoken easily with the solemnity and wonder of a child. That companion had been a true friend to an isolated child, a girl who suffered parents who constantly fought over her future.
Her spren. A spren who could talk. A spren she could confide in. A companion.
P: Finally she remembers her first spren. And I think she owes Pattern an apology.
Storms… Pattern was here. Not her new Pattern, the first one. The deadeye. Shallan needed to find her.
P: Yes, she does need to find the deadeye… but as Shallan next tells herself, that’s a job for later.
Bruised and Broken
L: There’s a lot to go over in this chapter, and I think all of it belongs here, in this section.
“Who do you think is stronger?” Adolin asked. “The man who has walked easily his entire life, or the man with no legs? The man who must pull himself by his arms?”
L: Adolin the philosopher, as usual.
P: I adore our young Highprince!
L: So do I.
I know what you’re doing, Veil whispered. I’ve finally figured it out.
Formless froze. She checked on Radiant—tucked into the prison of her mind, trying to break free but unable to speak. So why could Veil?
Well, she could ignore a voice or two. Formless sat at the desk and sketched the layout of the judge’s home. They’d paced it off yesterday, and peeked in windows. With her talent for spatial awareness, this floor plan should be accurate.
You aren’t a new persona, Veil thought. If you were, you couldn’t draw like that. You can lie to yourself, but not me.
P: Formless, it seems, is unable to keep Veil contained in the prison of her mind. Why is this, I wonder? Is it because Veil is the strongest of the personas? Because she’s the closest to Shallan?
L: I think, deep down, she doesn’t actually want to keep Veil imprisoned.
“Veil,” Pattern said. “This is not a good idea.”
He is right, Veil thought. He is right, Shallan.
I am Formless, she thought back.
No you’re not, Shallan.
P: Honor love you, Veil! I love the way she goes to bat for Shallan here. You can’t pull the wool over her eyes, Shallan.
Formless was a composite of the three—a single person with Shallan’s drawing and Lightweaving abilities, Radiant’s determination and ability to get things done, and Veil’s ability to push aside the pain. Veil’s ability to see the truth.
The best of all three of them.
L: Still lying to yourself, Shallan…
P: Definitely lying to herself. Except Veil is seeing the truth here.
“He said to tell you that we trust you,” Pattern said. “And love you. He said I should tell you that you deserve trust and love. And you do. I’m sorry I’ve been lying. For a very long time. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you could handle it.”
L: You know… I’m often iffy on Wit. I have trouble trusting him. But this is truly beautiful, and so kind of him to say. Of all the characters in Stormlight, Wit seems to truly love Shallan. I’m never sure what about her in particular it is that makes him care for her so deeply. Storms know that there are a whole slew of broken people in this world who deserve love and kindness, but this one Wit is drawn to more than any other. He’s often snippy with Kaladin, for instance, who is arguably just as traumatized (in different ways).
P: Wit certainly has a soft spot for her. One of my favorite scenes in the series is when he tells her the story of the Girl Who Looked Up in Oathbringer. Just thinking of how much he obviously cared for her in that scene nearly brings me to tears. He’s so gentle with her and speaks so kindly to her. I just love it.
You’re pretending to be like me, Veil thought. But Wit is right. You deserve to be loved, Shallan. You do.
P: She is pretending; she’s pretending she’s not Shallan, pretending that she replaced Shallan because it’s easier than feeling the pain.
I… Radiant said, her voice distant. I killed Ialai.
L: Ah. And finally we get the answer to this particular mystery.
P: And I would have pegged Veil for that particular murder.
Also, it seems that Formless isn’t containing Radiant very well, either. Newbie.
I saw… Radiant whispered, that you were about to do it. That you had poison secreted in your satchel. So I stepped in. To protect you. So you… didn’t have to do it. To prevent… what is happening to you now… Shallan…
P: And here we see Radiant also calling Formless Shallan. Shallan may have thought she could fool herself into becoming someone new but it seems she can’t fool her personas.
L: Of course she can’t. They’re part of her. You can close all the windows to try to hide what’s going on inside the house, but that doesn’t hide anything from the people who are actually inside.
P: And how heartbreaking that Radiant was afraid that this would happen, that Shallan might continue to splinter.
Kelek was here. She revealed Mraize’s knife, then stepped forward.
As she did so, she felt a coldness—like a sharp breeze. Stormlight left her in a rush. Formless paused, then glanced over her shoulder.
Veil stood behind her.
“I know why you’re doing this, Shallan,” Veil said. “There’s no fourth persona. Not yet. You’ve given yourself another name, so you can tuck away the pain. You take that step though, and it will be real.”
“This is who I want to be,” Formless said. “Let me go.”
P: Shallan is willing to kill Kelek (and part of her own mind) in order to avoid the pain. She’s suffered for so long that she would rather leave her life behind and seek a new one than face that pain. Our poor Shallan.
“You’re running again,” Veil said. “You think you don’t deserve Adolin, or your place as a Radiant. You’re terrified that if your friends knew what you truly were, they’d turn away from you. Leave you. So you’re going to leave them first.
L: Oof. I think anyone who’s ever experienced depression can sympathize with this sentiment. The worst part is that often, we know it’s not true in our hearts. And yet, that insidious whisper won’t stop telling us that it is.
P: I feel personally attacked by this, Veil. And I do, because this is how I feel about my friends. If they saw the real me, they’d leave me.
L: I wouldn’t. (Hug)
“You figure if you become the despicable person the darkness whispers that you have been, then it will all be decided.”
L: Why bother trying to deny it? This is probably the most insidious of those whispers.
P: Right? And Shallan seems to truly think she is that horrible person, that person who would murder a Herald in cold blood.
“Who is the strongest of mind? The woman whose emotions are always on her side? Or the woman whose own thoughts betray her? You have fought this fight every day of your life, Shallan. And you are not weak.”
L: Dear readers, if you also have these thoughts from time to time, I hope that you might remember this as well.
You are not weak. You are stronger than you know. Your trials have hardened you. I’m sorry that you’ve had to endure them; in a perfect world, no one should have to endure depression, or trauma. But you’re not weak for having had these experiences. And you, like Shallan, are loved not out of pity, but for the incredible person that you are.
P: I have nothing to add here but tears.
“You can bear it,” Veil whispered. She stepped forward, eye-to-eye with Shallan. “You can remember it. Our weakness doesn’t make us weak. Our weakness makes us strong. For we had to carry it all these years.”
“No,” Shallan said, her voice growing soft. “No. I can’t…”
“You can,” Veil whispered. “I’ve protected you all these years, but it’s time for me to leave. It’s time for me to be done.”
“I can’t,” Shallan said. “I’m too weak!”
“I don’t think you are. Take the memories.” Veil reached out her hand. “Take them back, Shallan.”
Shallan wavered. Formless had vanished like a puff of smoke, revealing all her lies. And there was Veil’s hand. Inviting. Offering to prove that Shallan was strong.
P: And here, Shallan can hold to the charade no longer. Her poorly formed persona evanesces into nothing and she can join her strength with Veil’s in order to face the memories.
“I know what you are,” Shallan whispered. “You’re the blankness upon my memories. The part of me that looks away. The part of my mind that protects me from my past.”
“Of course I am,” Veil said. “I’m your veil, Shallan.”
L: This one hits very hard. All this time, and the answer to the secret was right in front of us.
P: And here is where I was convinced that Veil really did have Shallan’s best interests at heart. And that she’d done her best to protect Shallan. During the beta read, I was certain that Veil was trying to become Shallan and be the dominant, or the only, persona. A lot changed though, and I’m glad that it did because I like this result a lot better.
L: This is so much stronger, and so much more impactful.
“I killed her,” Shallan whispered. “I killed my spren. My wonderful, beautiful, kindly spren. I broke my oaths, and I killed her.”
L: Ahh. And the other shoe finally drops. Not only did poor Shallan lose her mother and her father at her own hands… she lost the only friend she ever had. She lashed out in a moment of pain, and in so doing broke her oaths. She couldn’t possibly understand what she was doing—she was only a child. Were she older, I might say that her trauma is no excuse for hurting those around her. But the fact remains… she was too young to understand the consequences of her actions. And now, unfortunately, she must live with those consequences.
P: She does need to live with those consequences. And with some healing, she can face them.
Veil became Stormlight, glowing brightly. The color faded from her, becoming pure white. Her memories integrated into Shallan’s. Her skills became Shallan’s. And Shallan recognized everything she had done.
L: Another step towards healing, and towards growth.
P: As much as I haven’t cared for Veil much since Words of Radiance, I was a bit sad to see her go. But only for a moment, because this means that Shallan is healing and that makes me happy!
As there was nothing left for Veil to protect Shallan from feeling, she began to fade. But as she faded, one last question surfaced: Did I do well?
“Yes,” Shallan whispered. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
And then, like any other illusion that was no longer needed, Veil puffed away.
L: Well, this one absolutely broke me.
P: I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Cosmere Connections
“Old Thaidakar has always wanted my secrets,” Kelek said.
L: Old Thaidakar? I suppose Kelsier has been around for quite awhile, in the grand scheme of things. It’s just so odd to see him referred to as old.
P: Especially by a being as old as Kelek!
L: Era two of Mistborn takes place between books five and six of Stormlight, so we know that Kel’s been “dead” for about 300 years. Not too old compared to Kelek!
Brilliant Buttresses
“You must know what Wit said,” Pattern replied. “He is so wise. He seems to like you and hate everyone else. Ha ha. He made fun of me. It was very funny. I am like a chicken. Ha ha.”
P: Leave it to Wit—and Pattern—to give us a chuckle in the middle of this difficult chapter.
L: A chicken. Haha indeed, Pattern.
L: That was an emotional chapter. I think we’re going to need some time to process it. We’ll be leaving further speculation and discussion to you in the comments, and hope to join you there! Next week, Alice and Paige will be back with chapter 94.
Lyndsey is currently working three jobs in addition to working on these articles from time to time, and all of them are various shades of geeky (renaissance faire costumer & performer, and magic wand-maker). She’s also written one novel and is working on several more. If you enjoy queer protagonists, snarky humor, and don’t mind some salty language, check out book 1.
Paige resides in New Mexico, of course. And she’s all in with the AL East pennant race. Go Yankees! Links to her other writing are available in her profile.
